lost sunglasses and lost love

it's amazing just how much importance we can place on objects that really don't mean anything.

i lost my sunglasses last weekend.

the sunglasses mean so much to me, and now that they are lost, i am obsessed with them. i want them back. i am almost brought to tears, no kidding, when i think about them. i want them so badly.

i don't even really like them. but they were the only sunglasses i had ever had. they didn't fit me right, were the wrong brand, and i got them in an obscure and wrong way.

but they mean so much to me now. i really don't plan on ever seeing them again, and if i do, if i do i am going to put them on the ground if they are not already there and smash them. smash them to bits, with my shoes. i hate them. i need them so much but i hate them. i don't want them to hate me back, it just can't happen, it just can't work this way.
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO.

i can't believe it's happening this way.
i put so much effort into those glasses, so much money, so much time, so much love. so much. my life is in those glasses. my life is gone. lost. i need a new one. not that i want the old one. i just need something.

by the way, i lost my fiance this week too.

"isn't it funny how everything works out?
'i guess the joke's on me' she said"

i had a dream last night.
in it, i found my "one true love" but she didn't look like her. she had blonde hair, and a pink hoodie, and she would never look like that. she also had the wrong face, although i have no clue how i knew that in my dream, or what all that means. but that is the happiest i have been in a long time, and it all went away when i woke up. i don't know what it means.

i do know

that

in my dream,

i also found

my sunglasses.

and

when

i woke up,

i thought

i had them still,

and cried

when

i realized

that it was

all a

dream